Tuesday 28 August 2012

The petrifying and liberating reality of change

“Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change”
- Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

Last week I was on the phone to a good friend. We were discussing the next few weeks and what they’ll bring for both of us, since we have now graduated and embarked on a new stage in our lives. I began to talk about my masters, my new flat, and how intimidated I was by so many different things happening in such a familiar place. Just as I was about to say how nervous I was, he said in a voice that was meant to imitate my own:

“Ooooh I don’t like change!”

Now, firstly, I resent how whiny he made me sound. If anything, my voice is more manly than high-pitched. Secondly, I had to laugh.

You see, I have become well known for my aversion to all things that are different. I welcome safety and security: I hoard old clothes and belongings because everything reminds me of something that happened, and I can’t bear to let that go; I feel slightly stressed when something happens that isn’t my usual routine, like a timetable swap; and I certainly don’t like the unknown. Over the years, my housemates have mocked me, and encouraged me to open up to something different and to be spontaneous. Now, after three years of security in the form of a steady undergraduate degree and a group of close friends, I am embarking on my masters; a new course, new people and a new flat, with everything I had recognised, gone (aside from the campus, which thankfully is fairly unchanging). It’s almost like starting again. This has thrown me into a slight panic.

Last week, thousands of students received their A Level results, launching them into the unknown world of university, gap years and full time employment. If you were one of those students, then congratulations to you all for achieving your results – and congratulations and welcome to those of you joining us in September! Each year, I say the same; that I am jealous of all of you! Starting university has to be the best thing I’ve ever done in my life, and I would do anything to go back and experience it all again. You’ll all be stepping into something new – and that’s intimidating. But I seem to remember, for me, it was the only time I’ve really ever embraced change. I was ready for it.

Change like this is the most exciting thing we could ever experience. Really, it’s on the same level as buying your first house, getting married or moving abroad. It’s a landmark – a milestone in life that signifies that you’re moving forward, growing up and starting to become a real individual.

Although my change in September is not as drastic as those starting their undergraduate courses or even those who have chosen to study their postgraduate degrees here after graduating from elsewhere, it is still intimidating. It’s a strange sensation to know that I’ll be spending the next year somewhere totally familiar, but in a completely new way. I expect to see things in a new light – to spend my days in a slightly different way to how I spent them as an undergrad. My Fresher’s Week will once again be filled with introductory lectures, meetings and team building. I am sure it will be like stepping into a time warp. I cannot remain a 21 year-old undergraduate forever. It’s time I moved on to a new chapter of my life – one which could be the most exciting yet!

So here’s a little advice to myself, and to those of you who will be starting University in September:

Change is, more often than not, a good thing.

I, for one, need to remember this. It’s time to grow up a little, try something new and to realise that these are the experiences that make us who we are. And as much as that terrifies us, normally it is the beginning of the best thing that will happen to us.

I’m going to start to see such change in my life as a positive thing – something that will allow me to evolve, improve and experience new things. It’s exciting, dramatic, and exhilarating. And, if you’re worried or intimidated – then maybe you could join me too.

“Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn’t stop for anybody”
- Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Joanne

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