In those modules I did my readings for, I saved a lot of time when the essay deadlines started to line up. So, as a small digression, I want to remind everyone (especially new First Year students!) that doing your reading actually is important no matter what course you are on.
However, reminding you to do your readings is not the purpose of this blog post.
The subject of this blog post is actually something I think everyone is going to experience at some point during their first year; homesickness. Being homesick doesn’t mean that you don’t like university or that you want to drop out, so you should never be afraid to tell people that you miss home. After all, I think it’s perfectly natural to miss home in some way - I know I did last year.
Although I didn’t miss home as much as I had anticipated (sorry mum!), I definitely had my moments of intense homesickness.
I understand it can be harder for international students to adapt to a new country and for many people a second language, but it is all a part of a process. Two of my best friends who also study abroad have said the exact same thing; they miss home from time to time. They don’t need a particular reason, sometimes you just wake up and you miss home. Missing my mum’s birthday two years in a row because of University isn’t exactly the best feeling in the world, but it is a part of the whole experience. You will miss out on things at home and that’s it. I was lucky enough to be able to go home last year for 17th of May (which is Norway’s constitution day and a huge deal back home), but I know a lot of friends who couldn’t go back that day.
I’m sure everyone can relate to being the one person who couldn’t attend something and later seeing all your good friends having fun and telling you “Ah, you should’ve been here!” It just makes it worse.
Therefore, I wanted to share some tips on how to cope with homesickness.
If you are homesick, there isn’t a right answer for what to do, but these are at least things that helped me.
Growing up as an only child, I’m very used to coping with my emotions on my own, so I don’t really feel the need to be around people 24/7 if I’m sad in order to feel better. For me, the best cure was simply to be alone for a bit; to go for a walk with some music, watch a movie or text some friends back home. This was always helpful; I didn’t really need anyone to be psychically around me for things to feel better, but I totally understand that some people would prefer to be around people.
I do, however, think it is important to take some 'time-out' during your first year. Living in halls with many people is something everyone needs some time to accommodate to and no matter how much you like your flatmates. Sometimes it can be too much! When I came back from school back home, I was used to being home alone for at least a couple of hours and since starting University this has obviously changed.
Ask yourself, what do you need to feel better? Sometimes it can be time alone, time with other people and sometimes you might not even know.
If you are an international student, spend some time with people from the same country as you. I am a strong believer of not strictly just having friends from the same country as you when you study abroad, but being abroad is a big change and you are probably not the only one trying to adjust to all the new things you encounter when moving abroad. It’s easy to think Norway and England are very similar, but there are definitely some huge cultural differences that only people from Norway would notice and vice versa. Last year, Miranda and I made buns for 'Fastelavens' since we weren’t home and everyone bakes buns and fills them with cream on this day. Not that buns are a traditional Norwegian dish, but if you do miss home and food from home, why not make some of your favourite foods?
IKEA meatballs and mashed potatoes. Very Scandinavian.
On that note, keep up the (good) habits you had before moving. I used the gym back home frequently before I moved and although it took me a fair amount of time before I started going to the gym properly in England, it is one of the my favourite ways to recharge my batteries and get a proper break from my studies. Exercising regularly is just as important for your mental health as your psychical health, so don’t underestimate a run/walk or a trip to the gym.
Joining societies or sports teams can also be helpful. If you don’t know anyone from your native country, I’m almost a 100% you will find a society for it, and if you are looking for people with similar interest I’m 100% sure you will find a society or a sports team you can join. This is a great opportunity to meet people who you share similar interest with and to meet people across all the years and courses.
Skype/FaceTime/Viber/Whatsapp are essential. Regardless if you are twenty minutes away from home or twenty hours, if you miss your family or friends a quick call could be the key to feeling better. Luckily, the time difference between Norway and England is only one hour, so there’s not much planning needed, but if you do have a huge time difference, maybe set a particular time on a particular day to call home.
My mum 2000km away, but still in the same room as me.
Make it feel like home. Your room doesn’t need to have four plain walls; it is, after all, your home away from home. My room last year in halls was filled with pictures and cards, very much like my room in Oslo. I loved getting parcels from home and I would always save all the notes and letters and hang them up. It doesn’t necessarily need to be exactly like this, but make your room feel like your room.
I hope this might help anyone experiencing homesickness and if not, I hope everyone is aware that the University offers support and help, like counselling, if you need someone to talk to. There are also people ready to listen at the Students' Union too.
My friend Miranda and I went to Bournemouth this weekend for the Surfing Society’s taster session. Off to the beach in October? We are not homesick just yet!
Alexandra
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