I write lists. A lot.
Those who know me well, particularly my ex-housemates from my undergraduate
course, know that I live my academic
(and personal, for that matter) life by lists. I make shopping lists, budget
lists, event lists… but my favourite list of all is the To Do List.
Almost every day, I will take a piece of lined paper, and neatly write
down all the things I need to do. Then, on another sheet, I note down the days
of the week, with an hour-by-hour schedule of what work I’ll be doing,
interspersed with social events, meals, and Wessex Scene activities. These
lists, as meticulous as they are, are never kept to; and so, the cycle begins
again the next day with a different list corresponding with what I did not
stick to the day before. It has come to
the stage where I am starting to wonder if I am solely to blame for the vanishing
rainforests all over the world.
Immediately, the anxiety and stress I feel about my work load lifts,
and I can breathe easy once again… until the next day.
After talking to my friends, I know that many students rely on the To
Do List to get things done – and it works better for some than others. Many of
my student friends find that crossing off tasks gives them a sense of pride at
having finished a task. Often, especially as a Humanities student, you have no
physical evidence of having completed a task; reading a novel or a journal does
not always finish with a printed essay or report, and so nothing really
feels as if it has been instantly achieved.
To Do lists therefore make me feel like my day has been a success,
whether I have had Wessex Scene commitments such as editing articles, have been
working hard in the library until it closes, or fitting reading sessions in
between a mocha with friends. Since an MA is a long term thing, and the outcome
can’t be seen for a while, I feel the need to feel accomplished – and a To Do
list does just that.
However, it is a little ridiculous. I rarely stick to them, and often
end up rewriting them. Nobody can ever work solidly all day long, especially
when distractions happen after lectures, when before you know it you’ve been
chatting to a friend about what to see at Union Films that weekend for the last
hour or two.
The other day I read an article about whether writing To Do lists makes
you unproductive, and it really got me thinking. Is my obsessive list-making
just an elaborate form of procrastination in disguise? Am I writing my lists in
order to feel productive, rather than
as an aim to actually complete my tasks? Surely I’m not just replacing the
things I need to do with a list, and then ignoring it. Or, maybe I am…
My course is really starting to get stressful now. January deadlines
are starting to need organising, the Wessex Scene is taking up a lot of time
(not that I don’t love that!) and I am feeling the pressure. After all, this MA
was a choice and I need to do well. And with this come more lists, drafts,
calendars and diary entries.
So maybe this month I should scrap the scheduled To Do list and bullet
point everything I need to do in digestible chunks so as not to overwhelm
myself. Perhaps I should avoid assuming I’ll spend all day in the library when
I know I won’t and start looking forward to getting things done. After all, my
future self will thank me.
Joanne
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